Insecurities pt.2

Hey gems,
I know one of your all time favorite blogs of mine is one I did that was about my insecurities. I talked about how certain items about me, my physical appearance and persannilty traits created huge insecurities. This was before I started working and before quarantine, I really feel like in the last yea some have stayed the same, and some insecurities have changed.

So here we are, a year after the last insecurities blog I wrote and boy have things changed. I am now- sometimes- a full on adult. Sometimes I still choose to argue whether that is true or not (hi mama).

But now over a year of working full time, a career that is blossoming, additional classes post undergrad, my relationship steady as ever and my whole family in a beautiful place. I think the last year may have changed how I see myself and my little world.

1. Body adjustments
Now I have been very open about how my perception of my body has shifted pretty much constantly in the last few years. My body went from being flat, to great curves, to more and more changes that it seems like every time I get comfortable with how I look, my body changes again. Although there are still days where this really is a challenge for me, I am finding more and more that I give myself gentle reminders to be patient. Not to mention, on days where I am feeling great about my body, I give myself all the compliments in the world.

2. Confidence
One of the major things I had mentioned in my last insecurities blog was my lack of confidence. Although there are still moments where I know I shrink back and want to run and hide, I am also really seeing myself flourish. A huge part of this was my newfound career and how I was always worried I would make a fool of myself but now I know my colleagues so well that I know if ever I make a mistake not only will they forgive me, but they will help me.

3. Dreams
So a new item here is my dreams. Don't get me wrong everyone around me is super supportive but there will always be some comments and jokes made about how I am a big dreamer and how I need to come back to reality. I have a lot of crazy dreams of travelling, writing, career routes, and so much more I want to try. I know they seem far fetched and definitely are for the the more distant future, but I tend to let comments take me away from the goals, however wild they are, that I set for myself. When in reality what I should be doing is setting even higher goals because if you don't aim high then what's the point?

4. Perception
Probably the one insecurity that is still present from last year to now is the fear I have of how people perceive me. For a long time I've heard the same comments, same jokes, etc. about me being a "princess", etc. It's something that is always on my mind when people meet me or in scenarios where I feel less confident I always revert to worrying that people only see me as a princess and not as smart, capable and everything else I am. With all the added strength I have found in my confidence, this is something that bothers me less and less because I know that it really is just someone else's loss if they only see one side of me. And yes, I am a princess. I'm also smart, funny (sometimes), loyal to a fault and damn I can get a party going!

So next time you are all worried about insecurities and little moments that feel heavier than they really are, take a moment and remember how BOMB you are. One little item of your looks, personality or career that you aren't so sure about, isn't a defining moment or a sign drawn int he sand.

Remember, life is just a series of phases, so embrace the good ones and let the bad ones pass as they will.

Sweet dreams gems,
T