My Biggest Insecurities

Hey there my gems!
Let's get real today! Everyone has insecurities and specific things about them that they wish they could change. I'm no different, but I'm working on taking responsibility for what I can and can't control.

My confidence
I think this is something a lot of girls struggle with and you'll see as you keep reading that everything else comes from my confidence, or lack there of. I feel a lot of shifts in confidence depending on my surroundings. For example, in my  own home, or my friends', surrounded by people I know and who know me really well, I'll be loud, happy, extroverted, etc. However, in a room full of strangers, or in a class full of smart students, even just walking down the street, I'll become shy, introverted, quiet, I'll be terrified of saying something embarrassing and be extremely intimidated. I'm basically afraid of not being able to keep up, or of looking stupid. Which doesn't make sense because I know that I am smart, funny (at times) and I know I can flow with any conversation but my self-doubt definitely starts to affect my confidence.

My Body Shape
Okay so, my body has definitely been changing. Before even the last few months where I gained a few pounds, it was the shape of my body itself that changed. My clothes fit me different, I hated how I looked in what used to be my favorite outfit, etc. Now, I'm starting to understand that some of this is out of my control, but some isn't. I can workout and control what I eat, but women's bodies change in different stages of life and that is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I still cry when I don't fit into my favorite jeans, or when my shorts are now fitting way tighter than before. I've also been quite good with starting a new workout routine (new blog coming soon). So that being said, it sucks at first, but the curves are definitely growing on me.

Crowded rooms
Being in a crowded room with strangers is something that really is difficult for me. Especially if I want to impress or care about what they think, such as schoolmates or my boyfriend's friends. I am easily intimidated by those around me. This is a mix of a lot of things for me, but it comes down to the fact that I care way too much about what people think of me. This is something that I have always struggled with. Even in High School, with kids that weren't my friends, I wanted everyone to like me and was devastated if they didn't. I'd say things haven't changed too much, other than my standards. I evaluate a little better whether someone is worth my extreme effort or not. Then again, it's always hard to accept that someone dislikes me so I'm still working on this one!

As I'm writing this I see how much of these overlap and all have to do with accepting what I can and can't control. Which I would assume is difficult for a lot of people, or at least I hope it's not just me! I think especially as you become more independent, you wish you could control certain things and accepting that you can't is a challenge.
Anyone relate?

Talk soon,
T
xx