Love tips
Now that you've been through my Heartbeats journey with me, let's wrap this baby up in a neat little bow of what I've learned in 8 simple but important love tips to keep in mind!
**Side note these apply for different relationships. (ex: Long-term, new, dating world, friendships, etc.)
1. Effort is everything.
If someone isn't putting the same effort into getting to know you, making you happy, etc. as you are for them, then they may not be worth the time and effort you're putting into them. Think of your time as the most valuable thing in the world, if you're giving them yours, they should be reciprocating. If not, take the time to consider why. They may be going through something, which is totally understandable, but people can't expect you to give it your all forever without getting any time or effort in return. Every relationship in your life is a two way street.
**Side note these apply for different relationships. (ex: Long-term, new, dating world, friendships, etc.)
If someone isn't putting the same effort into getting to know you, making you happy, etc. as you are for them, then they may not be worth the time and effort you're putting into them. Think of your time as the most valuable thing in the world, if you're giving them yours, they should be reciprocating. If not, take the time to consider why. They may be going through something, which is totally understandable, but people can't expect you to give it your all forever without getting any time or effort in return. Every relationship in your life is a two way street.
2. Relationships are not only between 2 people.
You're friends and family are along for the ride whether you intend it or not. When you're mad, sad or annoyed, they know. If they give you advice or tell you how they feel about your significant other, don't disregard or be defensive. It's normal to want them to have a great relationship with the person you care about, work on that. They may also be seeing things you aren't, why not accept the extra info?
4. Patience and Honesty are everything.
Being able to truly be yourself, open and honest are the most beautiful things about relationships. If you don't have that, then you should consider what it is that is preventing you from opening up. It says a lot about your relationship if you're constantly trying to act a certain way to please your partner or their inner circle. Be yourself, you'll only regret it later if you're not.
5. You have a right to be overwhelmed.
Relationships are hard. Even the best ones go through ups and downs and if there isn't a support system and acceptance to those negative feelings, then you need to consider how you can go through life's ups and downs with that person. No one is always happy, and whoever you're with needs to understand and allow you to feel that way. Most importantly, you need to allow yourself to feel that way.
6.If you think about ending it, its because you probably should.
Listen, this tip isn't for everyone, and it doesn't apply to fresh relationships or those that are going thru difficult times and trying to positively work through them. I'm not saying giving up is always the answer, there are plenty of relationships that hit rock bottom and work hard to bring themselves back to life. Honestly, props to them. What mean here is if in your normal day to day interactions or small bickerrings the thoughts "This isn't right", "Maybe I should end it" or "I don't want to end it but maybe..." come to mind, then maybe they should be seriously considered. Being with someone isn't easy, it takes work from both sides, but being in a relationship shouldn't constantly drain you either.
7. Attention is the most valuable gift.
To bring their favorite cookies to them on a bad day, send them a loving message just because, complement them non-stop, constantly remind them of ow much they mean to you, surprise them at work, etc. These are all small ways to show you care and give your partner attention which is free and priceless. And trust me, they will mean more to your partner then any material item.
8. "Find someone who loves you a little bit more than you love them"
This sounds weird and maybe even a little insulting, but stay with me. It's something that was said to me years ago, and something I've continued to preach to anyone who's asked me for advice. This doesn't mean to guard yourself or be with someone whom you don't love. Heart over everything. But, there is something to be said about being with someone who will always be thinking of you, caring for you and wanting to protect you. Someone who complements you constantly and gives you all their love and attention. Not having to fight for any of that, but to be given it all, is the most amazing feeling. To know someone loves you as much as you love them and maybe more, is undeniably a great feeling. It also pushes you to prove your love for them as well, treat them better, love them better, etc. This is a way to know you're in a relationship which is creating an environment of positive growth.
No matter what, do what is best for you.
xx
T
Being able to truly be yourself, open and honest are the most beautiful things about relationships. If you don't have that, then you should consider what it is that is preventing you from opening up. It says a lot about your relationship if you're constantly trying to act a certain way to please your partner or their inner circle. Be yourself, you'll only regret it later if you're not.
5. You have a right to be overwhelmed.
Relationships are hard. Even the best ones go through ups and downs and if there isn't a support system and acceptance to those negative feelings, then you need to consider how you can go through life's ups and downs with that person. No one is always happy, and whoever you're with needs to understand and allow you to feel that way. Most importantly, you need to allow yourself to feel that way.
6.If you think about ending it, its because you probably should.Listen, this tip isn't for everyone, and it doesn't apply to fresh relationships or those that are going thru difficult times and trying to positively work through them. I'm not saying giving up is always the answer, there are plenty of relationships that hit rock bottom and work hard to bring themselves back to life. Honestly, props to them. What mean here is if in your normal day to day interactions or small bickerrings the thoughts "This isn't right", "Maybe I should end it" or "I don't want to end it but maybe..." come to mind, then maybe they should be seriously considered. Being with someone isn't easy, it takes work from both sides, but being in a relationship shouldn't constantly drain you either.
7. Attention is the most valuable gift.
To bring their favorite cookies to them on a bad day, send them a loving message just because, complement them non-stop, constantly remind them of ow much they mean to you, surprise them at work, etc. These are all small ways to show you care and give your partner attention which is free and priceless. And trust me, they will mean more to your partner then any material item.
8. "Find someone who loves you a little bit more than you love them"
This sounds weird and maybe even a little insulting, but stay with me. It's something that was said to me years ago, and something I've continued to preach to anyone who's asked me for advice. This doesn't mean to guard yourself or be with someone whom you don't love. Heart over everything. But, there is something to be said about being with someone who will always be thinking of you, caring for you and wanting to protect you. Someone who complements you constantly and gives you all their love and attention. Not having to fight for any of that, but to be given it all, is the most amazing feeling. To know someone loves you as much as you love them and maybe more, is undeniably a great feeling. It also pushes you to prove your love for them as well, treat them better, love them better, etc. This is a way to know you're in a relationship which is creating an environment of positive growth.
No matter what, do what is best for you.
xx
T
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